Friday, February 13, 2009

How Do You Know?

Veranda, November December 2007, Ex-votos of silver, gilt bronze and crystals from Southern France, late 19th c. Photo by Peter Vitale

How do you know when it is right? How do you know when that person is "it" for you? Do you know right away? At first sight? I suppose it is different for everyone. I am not one to subscribe to the idea of "love at first sight". I think one might come closer to that concept as one gets older and has gone through many "wrongs". One can then eliminate from the picture what doesn't fit much faster...and concentrate on a person who may just be more "right." But without that experience, how can one really know?

I cannot ever forget the first time I saw my husband. Yes......meeting on a New Year's Eve does make it just that much easier to remember I suppose. And I guess that seeing one's future spouse walk through the door decked out in a classic tuxedo can't hurt one's memory either. It started out as sort of a group blind date with a couple of my roommates and girlfriends. I had dated sporadically since moving back to San Diego after a year living in Louisiana, but was not serious about anyone I had met. I had invited my cousin "H" to be my date for an evening of parties and a big black tie gala. And he brought his best friend with him. I can't say that I knew that night that he was the one. Not even after all of our friends had mysteriously disappeared over the course of the evening leaving us alone at the stroke of midnight. But the next day, when we took a walk on the foggy beach and had fish tacos at a stand on the beach....I knew I wanted to see him again. And see each other we did...every weekend from then on...and eventually every day. did you know? When did you know? Did it take flowers and candy and jewelry to make you swoon....or was it a simple walk on a beach and sharing a fish taco?

I wish you all a Valentine's Day full of simple things, easy hugs, a loving glance, a warm heart. And of course


Posh Pagoda said...

I knew when I literally had to remind myself to breathe as I was inadvertantly holding my breath to the extent that I thought I would faint for lack of oxygen.

Hill Country House Girl said...

What a lovely story. I know the tux must have been handsome, but isn't everyday life more about those fish tacos and walks together. Your friends must have known......sweet, sweet story.

Rita Finn said...

When I first met my husband, he looked me straight in the eye when he shook my hand. I was immediately smitten, but I didn't know he was the one. A year later, because we were both in other relationships, we were still only friends, but I confessed to my best friend that I was madly in love with him. We've been married for six years and it just gets better and better and better. I don't know what I did before I met him.

Renae said...

Katie...your cousin obviously thought very much of you to bring his best friend! Very many years now?

katiedid said...

Hi Posh!
Haha! I am glad you caught your breath....and I know how you felt!

HCH Girl-
Thanks for visitng! :) I think my cousin might have thought it was a good match. We grew up together and are closer than brother and sister.

katiedid said...

Hi Rita! Very romantic!

Hi Renae!
Gosh, it has been a little over 23 years since we met. Times flies!

michelle said...

Beautiful story.

I knew when he wanted to be part of my young children's lives. There is nothing sexier than a good dad.

Jackie Von Tobel said...

Jeez that's so romantic! I picked my husband up in a bar..... hmmmmmm!

Ivy Lane said...

I knew the moment I met him! The next morning after church..I announced to my parents that I had met the man I was going to marry! That went over like a lead balloon seeing I was only a sophomore in college... We are going to be celebrating 23 years of marriage this year!!

Love your story!! Happy Valentine's Day!

Blue Muse said...

Hi Katie! Well, I can tell you that I fell totally in love with that photo of french goodies right away!

A man in a tuxedo... it doesn't get much more lovely than that!

I knew when I first met my husband he could be the one - you know that distinct feeling -- when your heart flutters that butterfly effect and your entire body feels electricly charged, and your knees are a little like jello - he was in town visiting his brother, and his brother was at work, so he was touring downtown - he got a sandwich from the deli and wandered into the museum where I worked - I told him that he couldn't eat inside. He asked if I wanted to go outside and share his lunch on the bench. He packed a picnic every day for the rest of his trip and we had lunch together on that same bench - eventually he moved out here, and the rest, as we say, is history. Loving history :)

Happy Valentines, sweet Katie!

Velvet and Linen said...

What a romantic story, Katie.
Mine was definitely a love at first sight story.
Our first date was eleven hours long. My mother feared that I might have been kidnapped!
We were married a year after we met and have been happy together for the last 22 years.
Happy Valentine's day to your and your sweetheart.


Velvet and Linen said...

What a romantic story, Katie.
Mine was definitely a love at first sight story.
Our first date was eleven hours long. My mother feared that I might have been kidnapped!
We were married a year after we met and have been happy together for the last 22 years.
Happy Valentine's day to your and your sweetheart.


Callie Grayson said...

what a romantic story of your love:)
ps that image is very pretty!

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

My husband and I were best friends for seven years. We would both come home from less that enjoyable dates, and call each other up to complain. One autumn we just sort of got hit on the head that really what we were looking for, we already had! He is still the person I want to be with above all others. On days when I am out on client meetings, we occasionally meet for lunch and my heart still flops over when I see him coming my way!!

Karena said...

We both knew! I was not looking to remarry, and he swept me off my feet. I had never felt so adored. He also had a generosity of spirit that was unbounded.

Toad said...

I loved your story. I knew immediately that the woman I was talking to should be my wife. That was almost 13 years ago. We have been married 9.

A Day That Is Dessert said...

I knew when he shaved his head - and kept it shaved the whole time I didn't have hair - when I had chemo, three months after we started dating.

Suzy said...

What a sweet story! I had known my husband for 10 years (yes, that's not a typo) before we got together. I knew he was the one when he left the country and I thought I'd never see him again. So I followed him, and we've not been apart since that day.

kt said...

when he quoted chaucer to me after just meeting... i'm a sucker for a smart guy. his big blue eyes didn't hurt either!

DesignTies said...

I'm not sure about love at first sight, but I know that when I first met my husband I felt like I KNEW him. He was easy going, comfortable, engaging, funny (in a quite, tongue-in-cheek way) and handsome. I was also casually dating this other guy at the time, but when ever I met up with Brian I felt so great... so I ousted the other guy and stuck with MY guy :-) We've been happily together now for 5 years.

Loved your story, Katie... and to think you've been together 23 years. Congrats!

Victoria @ DesignTies

Cote de Texas said...

cute story. but I think Ben and I were really love at first site. make that lust at first sight. he says I was shaking my booty at him when I talked to him that first night. yep. he swears that.

katiedid said...

WOw! This has been so fun to hear all of your stories. It sounds like many of you were smitten at once! I was somehow surprised to hear this. It is nice to hear such romantic re-tellings. :)

susan said...

We were two stupid kids in high school, high school sweethearts with all that entails...high passion, running cold and hot with all the emotions. Many years later, we have recently (New Year's Eve 08) moved to (hopefully) our last house and say it's the greatest house we've had yet. We say it literally every day. I think it's the promise of making it another home together.

Easy and Elegant Life said...

Mrs. E. and I were both divorced. A mutual friend wanted to set us up. We both declined. So he threw a happy hour .. at a biker bar in D.C. (I was the only patron allowed in with a tie...) He told neither of us that the other would be there. He simply thought that getting us into the same room might work out.

According to all eyewitnesses I walked through the door, and straight over to Mrs. E. . A gang of us retreated to my apartment after the bar closed. Mrs. E. and I stayed up all night speaking French, watching "The Thin Man", listening to jazz. A week later she moved in by accident (I had a spare room), a few months later we moved to France and here we are, married, 11 years later.

I call my friend each year on our anniversary to thank him.

Rachel said...

I know this is a little late... ;-)

I think you're right on the money with your observation that with experience, and many "wrongs", you learn to see the "rights".
My husband and I hit it off on our first date. It started off as lunch (we met online), and ended up as a 12-hour all day event! I was hesitant to declare him "the one", but I had a special feeling about him that I had never felt before. The instant click with our personalities was what did it. That, and how cute he looked nervously waiting at the table for me with flowers! Same cute and nervous look he had when I walked down the aisle!